Wedding Photos

Wish Upon a Wedding has released some of the official pictures from Marla Austin Photography today. I want to share a few of them with all of you.

Tis Me! And I love my wig.

The love of my life.

From L to R: Rebecca F., me, Shari (officiant), Jen, Sara L.

First kiss!

From James Avery Jewelers. In Hebrew it reads "Where you go I will go from the Book of Ruth

Jen's bouquet has green carnations, mine has pink. Mine was also in METAvivor colors.

Wedding: A Recap

As I write this, I'm snacking on dipped pretzels provided by Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory as wedding favors. They're good.

It's Monday night. well, technically, Tuesday morning. Twenty-four hours ago, I was collapsed exhausted in a very comfortable bed at the Hampton Inn, recovering from a day which, for me, began at four in the morning. I've been waking up at that time for the last week and a half to take my antibiotic, which has me accustomed to the routine. It was only two hours before the alarm would go off and I couldn't fall back asleep, so I decided the hell with it and got up.

We left shortly before 8:30 to stop to get a newspaper which had an article about us in it, and some drinks for the trip, then picked up a friend on the way out of town. We went to the Hampton Inn for early check-in, meeting the wedding planner, and got our first glimpse of where we'd spend the night. We were then given the jewelry donated by Rhylan Lang. One necklace was a pendant, the other was a strand of three. They went beautifully with our dresses. The pendant matched the gemwork on my dress's bodice, and the three-strand one matched the drape of Jen's gown.

Then we went to the reception hall and got a preview of that, and boarded the party bus for Council Bluffs. At the EQ School of Hair Design, the bridesmaids all got dressed while the instructor, Margi, herself a two-time breast cancer survivor, helped me with my wig and styled in the veil and tiara. Christine from Blush Makeup Artistry painted up my face. I was airbrushed, such a weird sensation, and I wore false eyelashes for the first time.

Christine, myself, and Margi

The bridesmaids all had their hair and makeup done after, while the rest of the party bus riders relaxed in the salon with snack sacks my mother put together and brought to the salon for everyone.

The wedding party plus Kim at the salon

After that was done, we all boarded the bus again and headed to Willow Creek Glass Chapel. We got lost once and had to turn around, and it was well off the beaten path on gravel roads which kicked up a ton of dust. Because some windows were open due to the warm temperatures, everyone at the back of the bus got covered in dust.

Jen and I got changed into our gowns after we got there, and donned the jewelry and posed for pictures. While standing around and trying to walk in them, my pumps rubbed the sides of my feet raw so I ended up abandoning them for the actual ceremony, especially since I had to go up and down several steps without a railing, which isn't easy for me to do.

Aside from the shoes, the ceremony went beautifully. Once we were done and out, we boarded the bus again for a much longer trip, without any stops this time, for the reception hall.

From L to R: Caity, Micchi, Rebecca F., me, Jen, Sara, Amanda, Rebecca H.

 Dinner was excellent and for the first time in my life I had a potato salad I liked. Sweet potato salad. Then we cut the cake.

After the cake came the first dance. The song we picked dropped the F-bomb a few times, but it was so perfectly us we had to use it. Here's To Us by Halestorm.

We danced the Time Warp, we were given a bottle of homemade mead from a friend, everything went perfectly. There were a few minor bumps here and there, we were devoured by mosquitoes during the photo shoots, and I have not been that physically active in a long time and I felt like a giant bruise by the end of the night, but it was beautiful and perfect and we loved it.

Cake was chocolate, the cupcakes were raspberry

Wedding Day!

This is scheduled to be posted automatically during the time of the wedding. I want to thank everyone for making this day possible.

First, thanks goes to Wish Upon A Wedding, because without them, none of this would be happening.

To Cindy Lange-Kubick of the Lincoln Journal-Star, for running a feature in today's paper to highlight Wish Upon A Wedding and the awesome people who made everything happen.

To Tina Schneckloth, my wedding planner from Kimera Wedding & Events, for all of her hard work getting everything coordinated and on board with this event. She's the reason everything is going so smoothly. And an extra thanks to Jen from Cherry On Top Events for helping Tina set everything up today and your assistance in seeing that it all runs like clockwork.

To the Willow Creek Glass Chapel and the Millard Plaza Ballroom for hosting the Ceremony and Reception, respectively.

To Shari from I Choose You Ceremonies for officiating the wedding, and writing up a beautiful ceremony for this special day.

To Andrea Erickson, for lending your powerful voice to a performance of Shania Twain's "From This Moment On" during the processional.

By Marla Austin Photography

To Scott from A Joyful Rose DJ Service for providing the music throughout the wedding and the reception, and having even a few obscure songs we wanted.

To Marla Austin from Marla Austin Photography for the beautiful pictures taken for the engagement and the wedding itself.

To Cali from A Sound Impression for the wonderful engagement video and the videography of the wedding and reception.

To Blush Makeup Artistry and the EQ School of Hair Design for doing the entire wedding party's makeup and hair, and working with my wig so I can wear my veil.

To Rhylan Lang for the stunning bridal jewelry gifted to the two of us to help make the day even more special (and sparkly!)

To Corum's Flowers and Gifts and Country Elegance for the flowers and decorations for the chapel and reception hall.

To the KROC Center Catering for a delicious meal, and to The Cake Gallery for a gorgeous wedding cake. A tasty note to a wonderful day from the both of them.

To M&M Advertising for the beautiful invitations, to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory for the wedding favors, and to Memories For Life for the guestbook.

To Jone-Z Party Bus for the transportation to and from the chapel, and finally to the Hampton Inn and Suites for providing a room for Jen and I after the reception so we might have a chance to unwind in private. (We have 3 out of town guests currently staying with us over the week around the wedding)

It's an incredible day and it wouldn't be what it is without the contributions and help from each and every one of you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for this, and may the coverage send paying customers your way. That's the gift I have in return for everyone's amazing generosity.

One Week

So my parents were here, and Mom found a roller brush that's an easy way to get cat hair off the sofa and loveseat. She also cleaned the carpets and did some laundry, and helped me organize my closet. (She's brilliant at that) And we did a final dress fitting for both Jen's and my dresses. The straps my Grandma made for my gown needed the placement verified, and she had taken it in a bit too much and it had to be let out. So both dresses are off to Ohio with them to be finished and de-wrinkled.

Grandma and I hemming the dress

It's the right length now. It had to be hemmed by quite a bit, so Grandma used the fabric from hemming it to make the straps. I wanted something to help disguise the port bump in my chest. The scar I'm fine with, but the port bump is a little weird. The straps don't quite cover it, but it's far less noticeable than it would have been had we left the gown strapless.

We're not wearing traditional dresses, neither of us are crazy about wearing white since it seems to add pounds, visually, so we went with evening gowns that flatter us. Jen's is raspberry pink and sparkly and gorgeous. It's a hard color to match though, so I went with gray to compliment it. The bridesmaids are wearing black floor-length dresses. Not all of them are evening gowns, but they're all black floor-length and they flatter them.

The bouquets will have ribbons with the Metavivor colors, and the necklaces for the bridesmaids will have the Metavivor charm. I've mentioned this before.

One more week. Caity and her boyfriend are flying into Omaha on Tuesday and we'll go pick them up. On Wednesday, Micchi's flying in to Lincoln - an easier pickup. On Saturday, Rebecca, Sara, and Becky are arriving, and Amanda lives in Lincoln already. If Becky ends up staying with her mother instead of at an Omaha hotel, she'll be able to join in the festives on Saturday afternoon/evening. Grilling hot dogs, watching movies, getting our nails done. If they all show up, I can give them their Attendant gifts. Hmm. I think I'll do that anyway, even if Becky can't make it. I'll give her the gift on Sunday if she stays in Omaha. That would make for less things to keep track of.

In other news, I found out something new. Apparently I do have a family history of breast cancer. My great-grandma Timbrook had breast cancer and a mastectomy. I barely remember her. I barely remember my great-grandpa Timbrook. They both passed on when I was pretty little. But she's the only person in the family I'm related to that has had breast cancer.

This doesn't really change anything, except I need to go through all of October's posts and make corrections if this comes up. I might just wait for the posts to go live and then review them before I share the link on Facebook.

But a single great-grandma who had it is not a strong history. It doesn't change that I'm BRCA 1 & 2 mutation negative. But it's a bit of a relief to know I'm not the only one in my family who's had it. I have enough of being the only one with things in my family. I'm the only one in my immediate family (first cousins included) who's gay, I'm the only one who's deaf, and I'm the only one who has Vitamin D Deficiency Syndrome. (My body doesn't produce enough Vitamin D on its own, I need to take supplements, and without it, my bones won't absorb calcium properly and if I get too much calcium in relation to Vitamin D, I can end up with kidney stones.) But I am NOT the only one with breast cancer. Never mind I'm the only cousin who was alive when she was. Not the point.

In preparation for October, I have some blog entries incoming from guests, the deadline I gave is October 3rd, because I'm a Fullmetal Alchemist nerd. That's also the day I'm having my other tooth extracted. If I don't get things until the third, I'll work on getting them formatted over the weekend. They won't run  until the later part of the month, so I'll have time. And I'll also have time to figure out what to do if I don't get all the days filled.

Getting closer to the big day

My tooth extraction yesterday went smoothly. The Tramadol I'm already on, coupled with Tylenol, is doing its job of keeping the post-op pain at bay. It's making me nod off quite a bit though. I normally only take Tramadol before bed to stave off arthritis pain in my lower back. I know it is arthritis and not bone mets because the arthritis was confirmed and diagnosed with X-rays a couple of years prior to the breast cancer diagnosis, and it hasn't changed or moved. The Tramadol also helps with joint pain brought on by the Femara.

It is now exactly 15 days before the wedding. The itinerary for the wedding day has been written up, a fine piece of time management by my wedding planner, Tina. She's following up on a few more things for me, and Jen needs to finish setting the reception music with the DJ, Scott. The cake, the catering, the flowers, the decorations, all that's finalized and will be ready to go. I'm super-grateful to all these people who are volunteering their time, energy, and resources to make this a special day.

The Best Maid, Sara, has put together gift bags for the wedding party. It was her idea. She suggested something, I brought up something else, and it snowballed into a project she's enjoyed doing. She's a rockstar. She's also putting together an in-case-of-anything emergency bag with the Matron of Honor, my BFF, Rebecca. Rebecca is also in charge with making any necessary phone calls on the wedding day and helping me transport people to and from the reception.

METAvivor Ribbon Charm

Sara made beaded necklaces with the Metavivor ribbon attached as a charm, and my bridesmaid, Micchi, made matching earrings to go with the necklaces. These are just some of the goodies included in the wedding party gift bags.

Speaking of gift bags, my mother is having fun planning and putting together snack lunch bags for everyone who'll be riding on the Jone-Z Party Bus from the reception hall parking lot, to the chapel, and back again, since there'll be a layover around lunchtime at the hair salon where the party's getting hair and makeup done. These bags will include a variety of treats, ranging from healthy (and low-carb) options to indulgent, and include a bottle of water and wet wipes for cleanup. She's also bringing up some local soda water from Texas, fifteen bottles in a cooler, for people who want something other than water to drink.

All this activity and the prospect of a lot of people is triggering Jen's anxiety disorder, so Sara and I, along with Jen's "sister", Kim, are plotting ways to keep the attention off her and keeping her from getting overstimulated and having a meltdown.  My own anxiety disorder is far more mild and tends to present itself when I don't have a lot going on to occupy my attention.

As far as the plans for Pinktober go, I've got almost all the days filled. I'm holding off on writing any more posts to see what my guest bloggers will produce, along with an interview from someone at Metavivor.  I think I have the hang of this queued posts thing figured out, and I'm looking forward to seeing these going live. I think it will be a good month for everyone reading. I'll have a new tag, Pinktober, for all the posts for the month.

Still Waters

You know what they say. Still waters run deep. Right now I haven't been updating the blog because, well, I've been updating the blog. I have over twenty entries queued up to be published, one per day, throughout the month of October. I'm not done. I want to have one post for every day. I have a couple incoming guest posts (hopefully) and at least one interview with someone at METAvivor, hopefully two. (I haven't heard back from one of the ladies I've asked yet)

I also started a Facebook page specifically for this blog, for a few reasons. One, so people don't have to friend me (and vice versa) just to be notified when I update, and two, so I don't end up spamming my wall with posts, especially in October when I'll be sharing one post a day. You can find and like it at Metathriving on Facebook.

Things are falling into place for the wedding, along with an upcoming interview with Cindy Lange-Kubick of the Lincoln Journal Star which will focus on Wish Upon A Wedding, and run in the Sunday edition the day of the wedding, September 28th. I'll be sure to post a link as soon as I can, which probably won't be until the Monday after.

The sample demo our wedding planner put together

 

We have the catering menu selected. The two main dishes will be Madeira Chicken (Pan seared chicken breast kissed with a shitake mushroom Madeira sauce) and Pork Loin Roulade (Apple, cranberry, sage stuffing, cider-juniper veloute). Jen is getting the chicken, and I'm eyeing that pork loin hungrily. The cake will be a single layer cake with cupcake tiers, with dove cake toppers and decorated with snowflakes. This is a nod to both our deities. Jen is a daughter of Loki, who, according to Norse mythology, is a Frost Giant. (No, that's not just a Marvel movie thing, and in the myths, he's Odin's oath brother, not Thor's adopted brother. Marvel takes a lot of creative liberties with the myths) And I follow Yeshua, hence the doves.

We have a great DJ who Jen is working with to create the soundtrack for the evening. Our song of choice for the first dance is a bit unusual, but the song fits us so well. "Here's To Us" by Halestorm.

Stuck it out this far together
Put our dreams through the shredder
Let’s toast cause things got better
and everything could change like that
And all these years go by so fast
But nothing lasts forever

Here's to us
Here's to love
All the times
That we messed up
Here's to you
Fill the glass
Cause the last few nights
Have kicked my ass
If they give you hell
Tell em to go fuck themselves
Here's to us
Here's to us

Like I said, it's not a traditional choice, but it suits us and our history. That's more important than picking out some overplayed pop or country song because it's "typical". This is our wedding, and we want it to reflect us.

To recap, if you want to be notified of updates to the blog and you're on facebook, you can Like the page Metathriving. I also have a Twitter, and I try to remember to link updates there as well.

A wealth of Information

One of the things I like to do is collect information. A just-for-fun quiz on Facebook the other day said I was a Yenta. A total busybody who wants to know everyone's business. It's not quite untrue. I don't gossip or share other people's personal details, but I like being in the know, I like information. And when something happens, I hit Google and start searching for that information.

I found a wealth of things that were relevant to my breast cancer diagnosis. They either pertained to breast cancer directly, or they were part of the metastatic reality. I keep a public collection of these links available to other cancer patients, and some of them are linked in the righthand column of my blog, but I want to highlight a few of the information sites, along with some blogs, today.

The first is METAvivor which I've mentioned several times in the past. A non-profit group, 100% of their donations go to research specifically for metastatic breast cancer. It's run by people with or impacted by MBC, so they understand the importance of MBC awareness and advocacy. They are the creators of the Metastatic Breast Cancer ribbon and colors. seen to the left.

Next is the Metastatic Breast Cancer Network. Like METAvivor, they funnel donations toward metastatic breast cancer research. They're also credited for making October 13 the National Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day. They are probably the most organized site for information on MBC on the web.

While not strictly metastatic in topic, I'd be remiss if I did not spotlight HIS Breast Cancer Awareness. With all the pinkwashing, men are so often overlooked for breast cancer. Men can and do get it, and because of the lack of understanding and awareness, it's usually stage III or IV by the time it's caught.

Another important source of information is Advanced Breast Cancer. They have a detailed FAQ as well as a comprehensive listing of various standard forms of treatment for MBC, listed by both trade and generic name, and the type of treatment.

By far one of the best sites of information and support for young women any stage of Breast Cancer, including the oft-ignored Stage IV, there's the Young Survival Coalition. With more and more women under the age of 40 getting a breast cancer diagnosis, there's a growing membership and their Navigator packets, which are free, are extremely helpful.

For research studies and clinical trials, there's the Army Of Women, which also welcomes men, and women who aren't diagnosed with breast cancer. You sign up and from time to time, if there's a study or clinical trial that you might qualify for, you get an email alerting you to this fact. It's entirely voluntary, just another source of information that you can choose to act on if you please.

If you find yourself in need of assistance with medication or treatments, visit the Patient Access Network Foundation. They cover far more than just Metastatic Breast Cancer, and they're an invaluable resource for many.

Another good resource that's free for use is the My Wonderful Life. It's a funeral planning website with a great deal of flexibility. And they also offer a program to allow you to pre-pay for your funeral. You can determine what you want to happen to your body on the event of your death, you can write your own obituary, you can write letters to loved ones that will be delivered after you pass, and give you the peace of mind knowing that you've worked out the details in advance so your loved ones don't have that additional stress of planning a funeral.

Wish Upon A Wedding isn't the only wish foundation for adults. There's also the Dream Foundation, which is the adult version of Make-A-Wish, and like WUW, it's not specific to breast cancer. On the specific-to-breast-cancer end, there's the Little Pink Houses of Hope, offering a week-long retreat for those with breast cancer and their families.

Before I move on to highlighting some blogs of other Metsters, there's another site that features a wide variety of links. Someone took the time to track down all the Breast Cancer Freebies and other support resources out there

Now onto the other blogs.

Telling Knots is a poignant and powerful blogger, with thoughts covering not just the metastatic breast cancer experience, but life in Israel in the middle of political and military conflicts.

Regrounding is a blog run by the president of METAvivor, Lori Marx-Rubiner, and covers many aspects of cancer, research, and advocacy. 

Uppity Cancer Patient is a blog from one woman with metastatic breast cancer, and discusses some of the realities and issues women with MBC face.

There are more blogs out there, but these are the ones I read, and the ones that deal with Metastatic Breast Cancer that I know about. Feel free to comment with links to more that fit the criteria of having a focus on MBC.

It's my hope that someone will read this entry and be introduced to a resource they hadn't previously known existed, and their life will be richer for the help and information it provides.

Wish Upon A Wedding

Wish Upon a Wedding, as I mentioned a while back in my last post, has granted Jen and I our wedding wish.

Our wedding planner, Tina, has been hard at work getting positions filled, and finding venues and volunteers. A marvelous photographer and videographer have already met with us for the engagement session, so the foundation can share our story.

Susanne & Jennifer : A Love Story

Many thanks to Marla Austin Photography and A Sound Impression for their hard work!

Our wedding party has all confirmed being able to attend, and the invitations have been mailed out. We're already starting to get the RSVP cards back.

Sunday, the 28th of September, is looking to be a long day, as we have to be at Omaha by ten in the morning to get checked into our hotel, and then meeting at the parking lot of the Millard Plaza Ballroom in Omaha to board the party bus donated for the evening by the Jone-Z company. We'll have a stopover in Council Bluffs for the wedding party to get hair and makeup done for the ceremony, and then off to Shelby, Iowa to the Willow Creek Glass Chapel for the ceremony.

The wedding colors are raspberry pink, gray, and black. Jen's dress is pink, mine is a soft dove gray, and the wedding party will be in black. There will also be touches of green and teal to represent the metastatic breast cancer ribbon.

We're asking that in lieu of gifts, donations be made to METAvivor Research & Support, Inc. in our names.

In the meantime, I've been writing posts on the YSC Forum and I should repost them here as well. It captures my frustrations with having metastatic disease, and the overall lack of support and research that goes into a cure for us.

What's been up lately

On May 13th, I had my last chemo infusion for the time being.  I'm on Zoladex and Femara. There's no evidence of a tumor in my breast, and the liver tumor is 0.2cm in size.

I'm having post-chemo blues, as I've mentioned in another post. I don't feel like I should be having blues because I'm getting married.

I was accepted by Wish Upon A Wedding. Sept. 28, Jen and I will get married. Probably in Omaha.

I want to write a long post gushing about this but right now there's not too many details set in stone. We meet with the wedding planner on the 11th. I'll probably have something to gush about after that. Right now I'm still in the in-between doldrums and binging on Grey's Anatomy on Hulu.