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Diagnosed at 39 with Stage IV IDC breast cancer, grade 2, metastatic to the liver, and ER/PR+ and Her2-negative.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Your Singing Mammogram

Last night, I hopped onto Twitter just to check what was going on over there since Facebook was quiet and was boring me, and I caught a tweet made by Lori, the president of METAvivor.

I clicked on the link to see the video, and my jaw dropped. I'm deaf, I couldn't even follow what was being said, and even taking that into account, what I saw was so mind-numbingly offensive that all I could do was make incoherently profane sounds and anatomically-impossible suggestions for the people who thought it up. For your viewing "pleasure", it's below:


And of course, this comes on the heels of me bitching about the sexualization of breast cancer. I've been getting bits and snips of this travesty from other people, trying to formulate a post of my own about this. I seriously can't even with this video. Every line I learn, my brain hops back into incoherent rage mode. But this is what friends are for. Lori made an excellent post of her own, #AllKindsOfWrong, and Sara, the best maid in our wedding party, put together a line-by-line of what's wrong with this video.

Ooooh, wow. Where do I begin? First off, that was the longest, most annoying minute of my life so far today.

Right from the start, it annoys me. The nonsense-syllable intro? "Boobs, ba-boobs, ba-boobs, ta-ta tas, boobs..." Oh, -please-.

"Dudes and babies love 'em,/It's fun to squeeze and hug 'em..." Yes, thank you. Thank you for reducing my worth to a pair of breasts, on legs. Because the rest of me is not huggable at all--just my breasts. Thank you for reminding me that they have two purposes: For Being Groped, and For Feeding Sprogs. Because it's -certainly- not enough to just let them be 'a body part'.

I could be mishearing this one; it's a bit mushy: "Big cups or double-Ds, E and, we love 'em Gs..." Yes, because mammoth boobs are the ONLY ONES THAT MATTER, duh. Anything smaller than a D-cup? Apparently, you do not matter. (Note: the line is actually B-Cups, but the comment still stands. A-Cups are ignored, and oddly, C-Cups are only implied. The less common DD, E, and Gs are sung about because massive boobs.)

"They jiggle in loose tees/And extra-perky in the breeze!" I don't even. Again with the implication that breasts serve no other purpose than to please men, and we are -obligated-, as women, to entertain them with our breasts.

"Depending on the rack,/They sometimes hurt your back." I don't know. I just found this line, sung by a bunch of guys, who will never have to deal with that sort of issue, to be incredibly condescending. Almost along the lines of the "It's all in your head!" sympathy they give when women suffer from PMS: "How could you possibly SUFFER from something as awesome as BREASTS?! You must be imagining it."

Then there's this nonsense mumbled stuff about the pleasure of removing your bra after a long day. Whatever, dudes. It comes off as them chuckling and head-patting...oh, those women and their brassieres...more lady-sorcery we do not understand! BRAS. HOW DO THEY WORK.

"It's important and we're begging you, please.../Take care of those boobies!" If the sentiment was, 'Regular breast exams are a critical component of your preventive care regimen', then, okay. I can accept that. But the entire feel--no, I take that back--TAINT of this video gives the undercurrent of, 'If you get breast cancer, you'll have to get a mastectomy, and THEN what will we ogle and squeeze?! YOU OWE US, LADIES.' And maybe I'm just reading too much into this. But to me, the video -oozes- light-hearted "tee hee, look at us, we're so cute!" There is no 'serious reminder of health issues'. And it comes off as 'it's not THAT serious', too.

"And please don't forget to share this reminder to check your pair." Most women I know would be offended by this, why on earth would I share it?

Ugh. I feel dirty now.
 Another thought I had, after stepping away from that morass of everything tacky and tasteless: it ONLY concerns women who have not been diagnosed with breast cancer.

Maybe that's the whole point, and maybe I'm missing that point, and maybe it's just that, a year ago, I wouldn't have even given it a second thought. But, knowing you, and being here with you as you go through the treatment and the stress and the heartache of dealing with breast cancer? It kind of -cheapens- what you're going through. Turns it into a song-and-dance number, makes it sound like this funny, cool thing ladies should do. Oh, and if you get breast cancer? You horrible harridan, you DID NOT TAKE CARE OF YOUR BOOBIES. HOW. COULD. YOU. WE EVEN SANG AND DANCED ABOUT IT!

To me, Prevention, Treatment and Management should be bosom buddies (no pun intended). One should not be given the spotlight, while the others are overshadowed, because prevention is the fun one! It's the pretty one that isn't sick yet! What's the point of prevention, if no effort is made toward exploring treatment options and efforts to improve the quality of life for people (yes, men and women both) who suffer from breast cancer?

AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING I just thought of. This whole video COMPLETELY excludes the men, completely. It doesn't cover the fact that they're at risk, too, and makes early detection seem like Womany Sorcery Stuff, No Boys Allowed. And that's a crying shame, because what do these poor men do, when they find themselves adrift in a sea of pink, with no lifebuoys left out for them?

Susan G. Komen, you disgust me, in ways I never thought you could.

I couldn't have said it better myself. And in case an example is needed to prove that one doesn't have to resort to offensive, condescending, ninnyhammer claptrap to promote awareness, here's the video from METAvivor.

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